We are all selfish people. We want things, but don't want to make the effort to get them. And if we can't have it, no one else can. We want things to go our way. We want feelings to stay the way we want it to. We want to be happy, even if it makes everyone else sad. We want to stay happy, even if someone else is hurting. We claim to be righteous, but we know we hell are not.

But at least I know better.

And I can truly say, I'm glad that it's a little bit stronger.

I'm glad =)

- jolly J

Don't know what came over me to even remember that this ranting platform of mine still existed. Things are very different now. Everything seems to be evolving into something else... especially exams. Never thought that one could study to the extent where absolutely nothing else could fit into the supposedly limitless brain of ours. The recent CA1 is officially THE most content cramming crap I've ever encountered in my entire life. Pacing up and down the house reciting names of bacteria that resemble more of Harry Potter spells than english (Latin as well, I think), seriously sucking the life out of me. But whatever it is: Its over. And I survived. Muaha. Dengue and Chlamydia, I shall remember the both of you evils forever.

Yup things are very different now indeed. My attitude towards going for lectures has taken some drastic change. Ever since I started not attending some, I was hooked. The forbidden fruit has never tasted so sweet.

Everything is different now. I'm learning to repair whatever damage I might have caused. Don't need people to acknowledge it though. Oh well, wish me well I guess. Making things right.

- jolly J

After everything, I'm conforming.

I will learn. Learn to be a better person.

Don't judge me, please.

I know now.

And I'm praying that I'll be able to make things right.

- jolly J

Why is it that things change so drastically without even me noticing? I used to be able to see a future, my future. I used to know what I want in life. But now I'm just stuck, stoned. All of a sudden I don't know what I want, nor what I'm doing, thinking. And I don't even know what caused this. Damn. I'm just letting time pass by without so much of a care in the world of how much of it I've wasted.

I like baby clothes you know, especially those hanging from those miniature hangers and their mini hooks. Passed by this store selling a few of those cute little outfits with matching baby socks and all, but instead my mind just went--- blank.

I'm starting to think that it has always been in my head all along. Perhaps.

- jolly J

One down, and four to go. Well school has started and I guess I'm going to take it easier from now on, all this obsession with mugging and burying ourselves into books must stop. But I guess now nothing seems to matter, when all I can think of is broccoli. There are times when you need to make a decision between what you want to do, and what you need to do.

And its excruciating.

- jolly J