Thursday, December 10, 2009

Dear God,

Help me be a better friend.

Help me be a better boyfriend.

Help me be a better brother.

Help me be a better son.

Help me be a better person.

Help me be a better servant.

I've opened my eyes; remind me everyday to keep it that way.

But not through physical pain O Lord. Bless me, heal me.

Amen.

posted by triple j on 10:34 AM

Monday, November 30, 2009

How to know its love?

Its really strange how human nature is, actually. Not only do we gloat at people's misfortunes, but we also honestly think we can understand how these people feel, bodily pain and all. That's a load of rubbish really. As long as we're not directly involved in a dire situation, we are emotionally and psychologically immune from its effects.

Its too easy to read the papers about accidents, comatose, and deaths--- especially those of children ---and a wave of sympathy and pity starts thrashing about within our hearts. We send wreaths, condolences and even money. Yes, that's our conscience doind its part. Well, a good 5 seconds of it.

Today I was told, no actually I already knew quite a while ago, that my condition isn't actually going through the normal road to recovery. I'm trying not to be pessimistic here, in fact, I look at people around me with a whole new perspective. I've become what I never thought this over-confident-self-reliant-obnoxious personality of mine would be--- being hopeful. Thankful.

There are only a handful of people of whom I actually told this to, and from their reactions, I actually can see everything. I wrote on the first paragraph that one has to only be not directly involved to escape the responsibility of being genuinely concerned. Well, this time, I could tell who actually placed themselves of a direct immediate relationship with me.

And regardless, I'm still thankful with the results.


A man was walking with his girlfriend when he finally said, "Baby, I've got some bad news to tell you. And its going to affect us."

His girlfriend looked up at him with a worrisome look, urging him to continue.

"Remember my aching knee that has been giving me pain? My doctor informed me that it turned out to be something more... I'll have problems carrying out daily activities and need to undergo therapy, at least for the next couple of years."

His girlfriend stared into his eyes, ruffled his hair, and whispered, "I'll always be here for you, silly." she giggled, "At most I'll be your portable walking stick."

The man smiled, put his hands around her and kissed her forehead, knowing for sure that he's the luckiest guy around to have her.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Later that night she turned to him again and frowned, "So what's this bad news that you wanted to tell me?"


Now, that's love.

And luck has nothing to do with it.

- triple j
posted by triple j on 5:26 PM

Friday, November 27, 2009

Seven days

Don't know whether its coincidental or not, but the number seven seems to be particularly interesting and close to me at this point of time. 7 days to December, 7 days for everything to take place, 7 days to forget.

Its a pity that I am, believable or not, emotional. Or maybe foolish would be a more appropiate term. Four words sums it all up: What was I thinking?

Now that its Day 3 and moving on to Day 4, half the battle is won. I refuse to allow myself to think, do, hope. Just taking everything, everyday, like it was before. I think I'm coping pretty well, other than the occasional little devils dancing around my head--- which are reducing in numbers as I speak. Write. Type. Whatever.

I'm not going to betray myself, nor encourage my feelings. I have thought all that I could, said all that I wanted, and put everything down to where it is, already. Its time to not only embrace what I have, but also what I don't. I'm satisfied.

Yes, its cold turkey. But I'm sure its going to be honey-glazed and roasted by the time Day 7 arrives.

It'll be a genuine contented smile, planted on my face.

- triple j
posted by triple j on 12:35 AM